“The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn and relearn”

— Alvin Toffler

It's been a big week this week. Pictures below are of my childhood best friend who died 1 year ago last week suddenly at the age of 50, and the other picture is of my friend who died at the age of 47 and would have turned 50 this week. End of life conversations are not just for the old and ageing. They are for everyone…

What are you willing to learn, unlearn and relearn?

And what does this have to do with end of life, palliative care and building community? A little story first...

I left school at 16. I barely scraped through School Cert as it was then (Year 11 in today's speak in NZ). I could not wait to get out of there. I hated being told what to do, what to learn and often found myself feeling really stupid because I was in no way academic. I didn't realise at the time that the traditional, institutionalised school system way of learning was not how I learn best. And anyway, life was waiting for me and I was in a rush!

I always promised myself I would do my School C maths at some point (I was not allowed to sit it as if I attempted and failed the school would get a bad rating). With that went my dreams of being a nurse in the Army (a common pattern in my life where I am easily distracted and if they are my goal posts then I have the right to move them 😉...)

So on my return back to NZ after a couple of years of OE, I found myself working for a large organisation who were super supportive of learning and self development, so I enrolled in School C maths with Correspondence School (now Te Kura). And I passed. What a buzz.

The joy I got from accomplishing something (and following through on a promise to myself) was a little addictive and I have now been doing papers that, until recently, never actually amounted to any particular qualification and that was ok because I was learning for the love of learning and loving it.

I have now been doing papers with polytechnics and universities, and courses with numerous organisations for over 25 years.

Somewhere on my academic travels I had heard the phrase "learn, unlearn, relearn"... I didn't really grasp the concept at the time I don't think. I probably thought "that sounds cool, wonder how that works in the real world..." and moved on to something else, because yes, I was in a rush and wanted to know everything right now...

But recently I have been learning to slow down a little bit and this saying has been taking up a lot real estate in my brain. I am finding myself going back to things I was learning about for the first time many years ago, and now with some experience under my belt, considering things from an older (not necessarily wiser 😆) perspective, and totally loving the relearning experience, it is finally clicking for me.

So when I said I would share some of my favourite teachers and mentors etc I thought I should probably start with the fact that life has been my greatest teacher so far, but I can only learn the lessons if I am open to them.

The end of life space is a beautiful, raw, happy, sad, awe-some, awe-inspiring, connected, vulnerable, brave and courageous space. It is truly a privilege to be a part of people's lives and every single one of them is my teacher, mentor and inspiration. What is coming for us will require us to let go of existing assumptions, biases and ideas of what we think we know that don’t serve us, and make room for new learning, ideas, mindsets and new or different ways of doing things.

Here's a short YouTube clip here about assumptions and how sometimes we have assumptions or bias that have been learnt and that need to unlearnt and relearnt…

Imagine you have learnt to ride a bike a certain way… what if you had to unlearn what you intuitively know and relearn? See what I mean here…

What is an assumption you have or something you think you know about end of life, serious illness, bereavement or caregiving that you might need to learn, unlearn or relearn?

🧡

What do you need to learn, unlearn or relearn?

Preparing ourselves…

We really need to be able to talk about…